Kyohei Baito
2B Writing
September 23, 2010
Description of the picture 3
Many lives have collected around a lake since long time ago because there are many resources for lives there. At sunset, the sun is starting to sink, and the water of a lake looks yellow. In the middle of the lake, there is a boat made of wood, and it is moving slowly. On the boat, there are a boy, his grandfather, and grandfather’s dog. The boy has short hair and is wearing a blue shirt like his grandfather. He is gazing at his grandfather to learn how to fish and pulling on the oars. In front of him, his grandfather has a pipe between his lips is fishing for today’s dinner. He is wearing a leather hat, a gray shirt, blue jeans, and a mustache on his upper lip. In front of him, his dog, with white and brown short hair, is looking at the wave made by the boat and trying to drink water out of the lake. There are some white butterflies flying around the boat. The lake looks like if abounds in life.
from Linda Wesley:
ReplyDeleteYou have created a beautiful picture in my mind!
good job Baito but you should focus in the topic sentences..... : )
ReplyDeleteHi, Baito.
ReplyDeleteYour descriptive paragraph has beautiful vocabularies. :-)
Nice desciption,I like that you includ the life word.
ReplyDeletei like some detial points in your description
ReplyDeleteYour paragraph has specipic word.
ReplyDeleteSo, when I read your descriptive, I can think about picture.
I like this setence "the sun is starting to sink"
ReplyDeletegood job
Oh! it is very similar to my paragraph jaj, but you put "There are some white butterflies flying around the boat"..i loved it!
ReplyDeleteyour paragraph is perfect ... has a lot vocabulary and good descriptive..
ReplyDeletegreat paragraph and a lot of vocab in your paragraph great job.
ReplyDelete